Self-care is vital, but you avoid it, believe you have no time for it or think you are selfish. We talk about know thyself, and you spend time working out who you are, but then you dont care for yourself once you know or during the process.
Take time for yourself, even a few minutes a day, to be with and for yourself. Care can take many forms and, in truth, should. There is no one way to do it; it will vary according to you and your needs. For some, it may be time alone; for another, it may be time with others.
Your world has become so busy, so consumed with doing things that you believe you have no time for self-care. In fact, you have no time not to. The lack of self and self-determination is fuelling your sense of disconnection and loss. The self needs attention.
We know that time is a big concern, so asking you to care for yourself daily will feel like a big ask. So, we suggest you introduce care slowly, a little at a time - 10-15 minutes here and there as you start to create habits. We know that faced with the idea of time to care for yourself, your ego and dis-ease will make it hard to know what to do and cause you to waste time trying to work it out, defeating you in the process.
Create a self-care jar - a simple tool that works to support you as you get used to the act of caring for yourself. On small pieces of paper, write things you can do for 10-15 minutes that would be an act of self-care. Like - Meditate, listen to your favourite song, enjoy a cup of tea undisturbed (no devices). Eat a piece of fruit, go for a short walk, have a shower. Or put on a face mask, do a crossword and so on.
Aim to add a few things covering different aspects of self-care - mind, body, emotions and spirit. All things that you can do in less than 15 minutes. Caring for yourself emotionally might include writing in a journal or calling a friend, and caring for your mind could be doing a puzzle, counting to 100 slowly or reading a book. Caring for your body can be exercise, walking, cooking or taking a bath. Whilst caring for your spirit is linked to your beliefs, meditating is good, but prayer or reading your holy book can be too.
Fold the pieces of paper up and place them in the jar; ideally, start with about 10-12 and add as you get more comfortable with self-care. Then when you can, or think about looking after yourself, take one out of the jar and do it. Of course, you have free will; you can always put it back in and pull another, but do ask yourself why beforehand to check it is not self-sabotage.
As you get used to doing it, you can add to the jar and add acts that take longer, up to 30 mins. As you build up the habits and feel the benefits, you will need the self-care, jar less and less. You will also start to know what you like and dislike based on your needs rather than ego or emotional wounds.
Lastly, your world will try to tell you to feel guilty about putting yourself first. We say to you, ignore this. Guilt is a way to keep you in dis-ease and dis-harmony. Self-care is essential to your well-being and being your true self.
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